Debunking some myths...

If you are a Christian mom, homeschooler or not, you may have heard some myths that seem to surround them. I would like to dispel some of them, as well as tell you what I have learned along the way the last 10 1/2 years. If you homeschool, you have the added job of being full time teacher and the pressure to "do it all". If you work outside the home, you have the added job of employment as well as running a household. Even those stay at home wives, without children, have the "perfect images" myths burned into their skulls. I hope that this can encourage all of you!


1. Let go of the "perfect house" image I used to think that being home all day would equal a sparkling clean house in the evenings for my husband to walk into. I would work myself into a tizzy, trying to keep up the "June Cleaver" image. You know, the party dress and pearls while cleaning an oven? My dear friend, Ambra, taught me that you have to let go of your expectations sometimes. What that means is that my children are home 24/7. And, even though I only have 3, sometimes, my house looks like I have 10 or more and a tornado has run through it. I have let go of my expectation to have a sparkling clean house for the realization that my children are children. We have dogs, cats, and friends over. As long as we can walk through the house without breaking a leg, arm, or other appendage, the dust is ok. You can even write your name in it, if you want...just please, don't date it.

2. Your children are going to behave perfectly since they are around you all the time and do not have much outside influence
Please let this one go. My children do not have a lot of other influences as far as behavior, but they are still human. The Bible teaches us that man is born in sin, and even homeschooling won't solve that. Or public school. Or private school, for that matter. I have had days when I have spent more time being "MOM" than teacher, and have lost my voice simply because I have had to holler at my children a lot. Can you have peace? Of course!!! But, understand, there will be times that you will have some dissension in the ranks. It's through God's grace and mercy that we are all forgiven. It's okay if they get a little wild, you are not doing anything wrong. All that you can do is your very best to model the type of behavior that you expect from your kids. As my friend, Lisa, has taught me, you can't expect your kids to behave at the dinner table if you do not show your manners, but they are still just kids!

3. My children are going to grow up to be whiny brats since they aren't homeschooled. Now that is a total outright lie! I have many friends that do not homeschool their children, and they are just as well behaved, if not better, than some homeschooled children I have seen. (of course, not my angels...hahaha!!!) I think that the pressure to homeschool your children has become so great in the last couple of years that we simply forget that even if you aren't teaching your kids math, history, and such, that you are still teaching them. So, it could be truthfully said that all parents are homeschooling parents. Let go of the myth that you aren't enough or that you are failing your kids because you choose a different method of education. As my friend, Annette, has taught me, each child is different, and sometimes, you have to make decisions that others would spurn you for because you know it to be best for your child. Don't let others take away what you are...the best mom ever!

4. Being home full time will ensure that my family has nothing but hot, healthy meals. I would never think about serving food high in preservatives! If that is you, and you are able to really come through with that, CONGRATS! This isn't for you...please skip to the next one. The rest of us are now free to admit that somedays, we skimp on the cooking, baking, or homemaking. My children do not see anything wrong with Cheerios for dinner, or with macaroni and cheese on occasion. Somedays, I am just tired! And, it's okay if you are, too. Go ahead and open a can of soup for dinner vs. making it from fresh if that will free you from stress. And please know that my hubby actually thinks that Frosted Flakes is a delicacy...and if you happen upon a take out night, I would appreciate a Big Mac and iced coffee!

5. I can't schedule time for myself, my family needs me! Please, please, please do not keep going with this one! As I have learned from my dear friend, Laverne, you need to carve out time for yourself daily. Even if it's only 15 or 20 minutes. You need to have some time to refresh and be recharged so that you can take better care of your family. If you truly can't get away some days, you can always turn your bathroom into a "Teacher's Lounge"...hey! I still get knocks on the door when I'm in there, but at least I can ignore it for a minute or two!

7. My children will not be complete unless they are involved in sports, music lessons, dance....{go ahead and add yours here}
Hmmm...that's a hard one. Really! Ok, I am joking, it's not! However you choose to educate your child(ren), they do not have to be involved in ANY extra-curricular activities to be well rounded adults! Seriously! I have heard, "What about college, it will look sooo much better if they are involved in this and that..." Well, that my be true, but do you really have to do it all? Why not just pick one that they really like and go with that? Would Michael Phelps have won 8 gold medals for swimming if his mom made him take piano, art, and several other activities as well?

Being a wife and mother is a hard enough job. We need to stop placing so much pressure on ourselves to "have it all together". We all have different talents and abilities. What I would say to you is that you don't have to be like me, or like the other mom that you know. You are the best mom for your kids, and the best wife for your husband. You may think that you are falling short, but you are what God knew they would need! You are doing a great job!

I would love to hear about any other myths that I may have missed, and what you have done to overcome them!